Self illusion 2

We have a self, but the self is an illusion. How can this be understood? The basic self is a kind of responsibility. It is the responsibility to develop abilities and use them for a good cause.

This is a very open definition. It can contain a lot of different things and also be quite empty. It sees the self as potential.

Out of this potential we can not choose everything. We can not be married and single at the same time, for example.

We have to choose. How to choose?

If we misunderstand the illusive self for a real self, every change is a disaster for ourselves. Even normal steps in life as leaving the home city for study and work elsewhere is experienced as a painful loss of identity.

Moving means a change in the way we can relate to the family and friends back home, but it also gives opportunities for meeting new persons and doing new things. So if we see self as a potential, we can benefit from the new without suffer from leaving the old.

So in a way we have a self "a la carte". It means we can choose as from a menu. I can choose to be a citizen in that country, in that city. I can choose to be married or not, to live in a house of my own or in a flat. I can work in that trade or that trade.

Sometimes we make choices in full awareness. We choose this house and not that one. We choose this car and not that one.

But many choices are based on feeling or instinct rather than analysis. This is of course different for different individuals.

If we look at society, we see a lot of common patterns. But we also see a lot of differences.

If we trust in self as reality, we might tend to think that all should live the life in the normal, standard way. If we understand self as illusion, we respect the odd eccentric, if it is an expression of a choice and will.