Ego - ideal balance

The ego – ideal balance is a cause for a lot of suffering, but it is not recognized as the big problem it is. The ego - ideal balance is the meeting between two illusions. Ego is an illusion, and ideal is an illusion. The idea that the two shall be in perfect harmony is one of the most unrealistic ideas we humans can have. Yet we take it for granted. An example of the ego – ideal balance is a young girl who wants to be slim and thus turns anorectic. This is considered as a food problem or at best a psychological problem. But it is an example of the existential ego – ideal problem. In this case the ideal of being slim is confronted with an idea of ego where even the existence of a physical body is considered wrong. Another example would be a police officer with high and pure ideals who blames all problems on other persons. The ego – ideal problem is most difficult for young persons. Older are often more cynic, more tired and more blind. They can also be more clear sighted. The ego – ideal balance is in fact no problem. Ego has not that existence we tend to give it. Ego is nothing by itself. And ideal is by definition just an ideal – an idea that is not realized and maybe never can be realized. Young individuals who are oppressed or ignored – that is just about all young individuals on this earth – develop a strong inner urge to prove themselves. This is often expressed as the wish to have a grandiose ego and fulfill it in a grandiose way. When these two dreams are slashed – often by young ones of the same age – suffering occurs. It can be very strong. Suicide is not that uncommon. In rare cases school shootings occur. Low intensity, chronic pain and feeling of dysfunction is more common. The solution is in principle very easy. It is to understand ego and ideal, and see that they are not given but can be given content. It is good to have ambitions and ideals, but their tentative quality must be known. All good ideas are criticized by a majority of the population. Such is the world we live in. We should not be surprised or hurt when our pet ideals are criticized. We should not be sad when our particular combination of ego and ideal is ridiculed by all others, as that is inevitable. It has no importance. As humans, and even young humans, we are entitled to try out an original personality. Indeed, that is our purpose on earth. We are vulnerable when we do so, and there are many who enjoy inflicting pain on others, as pain has been inflicted on them. The best way to avoid the pain of being constantly harassed is to process the happenings and the experiences, for example by writing a journal. Other ways are painting and music.