To defuse tension does not mean to accept the unacceptable, but to deal with reality in a rational way. Difficult and drastic conflicts seem to call for intense and drastic action. But it is the other way around. Cool analysis is in particular need in difficult and drastic situations.
One difficulty is that some minds only accept physical arguments. Hitler is the great example. He ignored international justice and claimed he had rights over the territories occupied by German forces.
The tensions caused by this were immense, and impossible to defend in the long run. The normal, good state is as tensionless as possible.
The present conflict in Afghanistan is difficult to solve, as the will to reach a tensionless state is so alien for many inhabitants. The problem is not military or even social but on mind level. Military action might make the problem more difficult.
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